Early & Alone #73: Stuffed

On Thanksgiving and gratitude

Photo by Pro Church Media on Unsplash

Did you know that it's called stuffing when it’s cooked inside the turkey/chicken and dressing when it’s baked on its own in the oven? I didn’t know that until I started maniacally researching recipes after I stupidly volunteered to make stuffing/dressing for Thanksgiving this year, something I’ve never done, for a group of people I’ve never had Thanksgiving with (Jeff’s family).

Stuffing (dressing?) has always been my favorite part of the Thanksgiving meal. I’d look forward to it every year, the landscape of my grandmother’s dining room table unchanging and dependable over the years, down to someone inevitably forgetting something (usually the peas with pearl onions) in the kitchen until we were nearly done eating.

And then my grandmother died and Thanksgiving hasn’t been the same. There’s the rift between my mom and my aunt, and the houses my sister and brother have since bought, and my niece being born, and now the addition of a new family in my life. So when I told Jeff that I missed my grandmother’s stuffing, he very kindly suggested I make it for his family. I thought, “how hard could it be?” Whoops!

I’m sure it will be fine, but it turns out there’s no real recipe for my grandmother’s stuffing, just a few ingredients on a shopping list my sister scrawled after persuading my mom to help her make it one year. So I’m basically winging it, though my sister has graciously offered to walk me through it. But I’m also adapting and adding a little, seeing what happens when I make it my own.

Traditions are comforting but they can turn to stasis if we’re not careful. And nothing ever stays the same. We’re fools to believe that things will never change.

So this year, I’m terrified by the prospect of this stuffing (I have had stress dreams about it) but also invigorated by the possibility that it could turn out even better than before.

And that’s the way I’m feeling about so much in my life right now. There are things that are far from perfect, that I need to work to change, but I’m grateful for the opportunity for change, for the chance to build something new and maybe better. I’m grateful for this, and for you, and for my health, and for my family, and for Jeff, and for my friends, and for Gizmo, and for all of the little things that add up to the ballast of my daily life. I hope you all stuff yourselves full of whatever brings you joy this holiday.

Bright Spots

• I’ve seen a couple of movies in the past few weeks that I liked a lot—the first was Weird: The Al Yankovich Story, which is streaming free on the Roku Channel. I wasn’t expecting much, to be honest, but I found it to be really funny and…weird. The other was Wakanda Forever, which was visually stunning and beautiful. I’m not a superhero movie person, but the Black Panther series feels different. Chadwick Boseman’s absence echoed through the movie but it also paid him tribute in lovely ways.

• I’m a Trader Joe’s stan, and I’m giving a shoutout to an Instagram account, Traderjoes5itemsorless, which highlights recipes you can make in, you guessed it, 5 ingredients or less, most of them specific to TJ’s. I’ve made several of the recipes and they’re great.

• I know not all of you have a Peloton or a Peloton account, but if you do, do yourself a favor and check out the new LOL Cody ride with JC Chasez. I had so much fun I almost forgot I was exercising. Also worth checking out is Cody’s NSync ride, which made me remember how much I loved NSync and how good their songs still are. And if you don’t have access to Peloton or a bike, just have an NSync dance party in your living room. Still a great workout!

• Michael Hobbes has a new podcast! It’s called If Books Could Kill (let’s take a moment to appreciate the amazing title) and it’s great.

Happy Thanksgiving all!!