Early & Alone #65: Fun Times, Fun Times

On the various definitions and limitations of fun

Photo by Scott Webb on Unsplash

I spent the day with friends in Hull this weekend. They made amazing seafood and we drank orange wine and homemade peach lemonade by the bay. Gizmo was so tired when we got home that he went right to bed, unprompted—bedtime for him is usually an ordeal akin to putting a toddler to sleep. It was a classic idyllic summer day.

At one point, we decided to venture into the water, pulling some floats down to the bay. It sounded like fun, but when it came time for me to actually get in the water, I panicked. The bottom of the bay was rocky—it hurt to walk. There were probably crabs in the water. I’m not the best swimmer and I’m not graceful. My friends finally persuaded me to get into an inflatable dinghy, which my friend then kind of pulled me around on while she swam. “Pull me to shore!” I jokingly commanded. In the end, the floating adventure was more funny than fun.

On the drive back to my friend’s house, we passed a carnival set up by the beach. We talked about roller coasters and other amusement park rides. There was the ride like the one in the picture above, where you sit in a swing and it spins you around, only this one was super high. “It’s really fun,” my friend said. “The view is amazing.” “I don’t know, it’s a little too high for me,” I said.

I don’t really do roller coasters—never have, even as a kid. Maybe especially as a kid. One of my best friends from high school finally got me on a few roller coasters on a trip to Disneyland a few years ago, and it was really fun, but I’m not sure I’d do it again.

The list of supposedly “fun” things I have no interest in doing is long, is what I’m saying. Bike rides? No. Water slides? Nope. Sports of any kind? No, thank you. This extends to activities that aren’t necessarily physical as well—Drugs? Nope, I like to be in control. Video games? Ew. Puzzles? Snore. Camping? Oh god, please, no.

So what do I like to do? I like to read. I like to eat. I like to watch prestige dramas and movies where nothing blows up. I like to take walks and try new restaurants. I like karaoke and dancing and museums and bookstores.

There’s a perception that going on a roller coaster is fun and reading is boring. But to me, I’d rather read than go on a roller coaster any day. So how did one thing get the reputation of being fun while the other didn’t? It seems suspicious to me—just another way that society is geared toward those energetic extroverts.

We need a new vocabulary of fun, or at least a better understanding of what it means. My fun is likely different than someone else’s fun, but that doesn’t mean that what I enjoy doing is not fun. “Oh, you’re no fun,” someone might say in response to me citing reading as my favorite activity or saying I don’t want to go have another drink. I would actually feel really judged on dating apps when I said that reading was my hobby. I got called a nerd (“jokingly”) more than a few times. Why is that? It’s just ridiculous that humans haven’t quite ever come around to the simple fact that there is no universal definition of fun.

I guess there’s a certain element of spontaneity to fun, which is why the pandemic has been so limiting for so long. How much spontaneity can one find in the confines of one’s own home? Then again, spontaneity can go wrong very, very quickly, as anyone who’s attended a bad improv show on a whim can tell you.

At this point, I’m just rambling, but aren’t we all, a little bit? The stages of this pandemic keep getting weirder and weirder, causing my thoughts to spiral in strange directions. Is it worth it to sit outdoors in 95 degree weather to see a friend for a drink or should I continue to stew in my own semi-air-conditioned apartment, where I’ve spent far too much time in the last couple of years? Which one is more fun? Does it matter? Did it ever?

Bright Spots

• Aforementioned idyllic summer day with friends in Hull

• These charming comics about the creative process

• Did you know that if you type “upside down” into the search bar in Spotify, it will generate a playlist for you based on what the app thinks you should listen to if you ever need to escape Vecna? It’s fun! Mine includes some epic jams but also confusingly “Holla Back Girl” and “Livin’ La Vida Loca.”

• I watched the Steven Soderbergh movie Let Them All Talk (streaming on HBO Max) and I was quite charmed by it! Lucas Hedges is adorbs, and the combo of Meryl Streep, Dianne Wiest, and Candace Bergen as old friends is great. Also, it’s about the tension of writing about people you know! Recommend.

• I re-read To the Lighthouse for the first time since college and 1. It hits different as an adult and 2. It holds up.

• Stumbled on this old Key & Peele clip today and it gave me so much delight.