I am 59 and childfree. I volunteer regularly at a food bank, make lasagna for strangers through lasagnalove.org, hike or walk regularly with groups from Meetup.com, spend time with friends (many who I met through Meetup!) or relatives, volunteer as a pro choice escort, belong to book clubs....my life is not filled with sadness and confusion.
That sad man doesn't understand any one else's perspective and, even more pathetic, doesn't want to. He has an opinion that a "good" life is the life he lives. Makes me wonder what he does for others that are outside of his small family...?
YES, everything about this, Sheeby! This is exactly what I'm talking about. And it's totally clear that any life that conflicts with the life this man is living wouldn't fall into his incredibly narrow conception of what constitutes a "good" life. It's really gross.
You know, I wish I could agree with this, but I feel like as I get older, it's harder and harder to find any kind of community. People are just too busy with their own lives and own families to be a community for anyone else. There are so many things I want to do, but not everything is enjoyable when done alone. Including, for me, having kids. (I want to scream when people ask me if I'll "just have kids on my own." As if it's that easy!) A year ago I froze my eggs, and it was almost canceled the day before when the doctor's office realized I didn't have anyone to pick me up. (Eventually they found a service for me that drives people who aren't elderly or disabled home from medical appointments- those kinds of services are rarer than you would think, so $90 later, I had a ride home.)
That's so hard, Katie. I feel this, too. I think building community isn't something that's easy, especially at this time in our lives when it feels like everyone is tending to their own lives. But I do think it's possible, especially if we're willing to be vulnerable and put ourselves out there and also ask for help when we need it (easier said than done, I know!). But yeah, this is exactly my point--we NEED more community that's not based on the nuclear family!
I am 59 and childfree. I volunteer regularly at a food bank, make lasagna for strangers through lasagnalove.org, hike or walk regularly with groups from Meetup.com, spend time with friends (many who I met through Meetup!) or relatives, volunteer as a pro choice escort, belong to book clubs....my life is not filled with sadness and confusion.
That sad man doesn't understand any one else's perspective and, even more pathetic, doesn't want to. He has an opinion that a "good" life is the life he lives. Makes me wonder what he does for others that are outside of his small family...?
YES, everything about this, Sheeby! This is exactly what I'm talking about. And it's totally clear that any life that conflicts with the life this man is living wouldn't fall into his incredibly narrow conception of what constitutes a "good" life. It's really gross.
You know, I wish I could agree with this, but I feel like as I get older, it's harder and harder to find any kind of community. People are just too busy with their own lives and own families to be a community for anyone else. There are so many things I want to do, but not everything is enjoyable when done alone. Including, for me, having kids. (I want to scream when people ask me if I'll "just have kids on my own." As if it's that easy!) A year ago I froze my eggs, and it was almost canceled the day before when the doctor's office realized I didn't have anyone to pick me up. (Eventually they found a service for me that drives people who aren't elderly or disabled home from medical appointments- those kinds of services are rarer than you would think, so $90 later, I had a ride home.)
That's so hard, Katie. I feel this, too. I think building community isn't something that's easy, especially at this time in our lives when it feels like everyone is tending to their own lives. But I do think it's possible, especially if we're willing to be vulnerable and put ourselves out there and also ask for help when we need it (easier said than done, I know!). But yeah, this is exactly my point--we NEED more community that's not based on the nuclear family!
"Sadness and confusion" is how I describe my friends with kids, but whatever you say, Shane!
I think this is also how many parents would describe their experiences most days!